When Two Halves Make a Hole

The saying that “Two halves make a whole” only works with fruits! It is not uncommon to hear a pastor at a wedding ceremony say that two halves have come together to make a whole. Romantic as it may sound, it is unfortunately not true.

A good number of people have walked into marriage hoping that the other person will complete them. Undue pressure is then put on the spouse to be a miracle worker! The husband and wife are transformed overnight into poor substitutes for God, who alone can bring genuinely lasting change in a person.

The young husband often sees his wife as the medicine cabinet that, will sooth all his wounds. The bright-eyed bride sees her husband as the knight in shining armor that has come to rescue her from all her woes. Needless to say, it does not take very long before they both realize that the “magician spouse” forgot to bring a wand.

A more accurate statement is that two halves make a hole. A vicious dark hole that sucks in the couple into broken dreams, frustration, regret, and in many cases, divorce. An incomplete person can never complete anyone, and every spouse is a work in progress!

While in many third world countries marriage is still seen as a right of passage into adulthood, in many countries in the west marriage has received a death- blow! It hobbles along emaciated and wounded, as the divorce rate climbs higher and higher.

Disillusioned couples are moving in together as a test to see whether they are compatible, before they can even contemplate marriage. I just recently came across a British advert online that promised divorce in weeks for 17 pounds! The lure was that there would be no forms, court or solicitor fees. The catchphrase was ‘Over 100,000 satisfied customers!’

As the institution of marriage is collapsing before a carefree world, the Christian Church is wringing its hands wondering what to do. Unfortunately the ‘world’ has run into the Church and polluted its biblical standards while the Church has run out into the world and adopted its way of life. All this has been orchestrated by the devil himself!

To prove how much the Church has adopted the standards of the world, research shows that the ratio of divorce among non-Christians is almost identical to the ration of divorce amongst Christians. click here

Research done in the Unites states three years ago revealed that 49% of all marriages involved a remarriage for one or both spouses. It also estimated that 40% of all marriages ended in divorce. On average, according to this report, first marriages that ended in divorce lasted about eight years. Assuming that most married couples who planned for children got them into the third or fourth year of their marriage, by the time of the divorce, the children would be between four and five years old!

Psychologists tell us that out of all the devastating experiences in life, death comes first while divorce comes second. This devastation hits children the hardest! While the spouses move on to other spouses and form new homes, children are left bewildered, rejected, frustrated and angry.

A family is the core of any society. Can we now see why the world is in the state that it is in? Single parent homes are on the increase at home and abroad. Can marriages be saved for the sake of our societies? Can dissatisfied couples put their needs on hold while they look for solutions? Is there a remedy for this situation?

This situation is not new. Thousands of years ago God lamented over the same situation to His prophet, Malachi. He accused His people Israel of being unfaithful by breaking marriage covenants with their wives.

“… The Lord is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant” (Malachi 2:14).

According to this verse we can see that God is the primary witness in any marriage covenant. Secondly, God is accusing them of breaking faith. Faith is the primary engine that drives a marriage. The Bible calls faith being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). Faith says, although I do not see anything good in this marriage anymore, I trust God who is able to hold this marriage together. To break faith is to stop believing in God.

God goes on to say how intimately He is involved in any marriage.

“Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring… Do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” (Malachi 2: 15a).

God says that he is the one who has brought them together (made them one) and they are His. He says that He was seeking to build a society from godly offspring. God ends up with one conclusion…

” ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel…” (Malachi 2:16).

There are a lot of things that God hates that are happening in our world today. Divorce is just one of them. We do not live in a perfect world, and the sad fact is that a lot of people are going to continue making wrong choices of a life partner, be self-centered, selfish, violent, unfaithful and not ready to make sacrifices.

Behind every broken marriage is a fierce battle that was lost in the spirit realm. Many people do not realize that from the moment that they say, “I do,” a raging battling starts whose sole objective is the break-up of their marriage.

The Bible warns us that our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8). We are told not to be a passive onlooker but to “Resist him…” (verse 9).

We should realize that when we have problems in our marriage, we are not fighting against our spouse (flesh and blood), but “…Against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

The increasing rate of divorce is a clear manifestation that Satan is effective in his vile scheme to destroy the first institution that God ever created. We do not see godly offspring coming out of broken homes. The results on the contrary are young people without role models, and without hope. Involvement in illicit- sex, drugs, alcohol and violence is a natural outcome of Satan’s diabolical scheme.

To understand the intensity of the fierce battle against marriage, we need to see it against the backdrop of a fierce and angry devil. To destroy the society, he has to destroy marriages. Every individual on this earth has come out of the union of a man and a woman. Whether they are married or not, they have formed a nuclear family (father, mother and child). Thus we are all products of how that nuclear family related to each other for good or for evil and how it has influenced us.

A warning has come to the inhabitants of the earth.

“Therefore rejoice you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short” (Revelation 12:12).

Because Satan knows that his time is short, he has to adopt smart and effective wiles and schemes – schemes that will bring the greatest results within the shortest time. What better scheme is there than to destroy marriage?

Whether you are single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced or planning to divorce, my prayer is that the next step you take will be towards the kind of marriage that God intended for you. Marriage is His idea and only He has the blueprint for how it works.